Examples, Not Domineering

Scripture

1 Peter 5:1–3 (ESV)

Reflection

Peter gives this instruction as a fellow elder, not from above the people he is addressing but alongside them. The shape of the instruction matters as much as its content. Three times he draws a contrast: willingly, not under compulsion; eagerly, not for shameful gain; as an example, not as someone who domineers. Each contrast defines accountability not just by what a leader does but by why and how they do it.

The last contrast is the sharpest for this week's theme. A leader can technically shepherd a team, direct their work, hold them to standards, without ever becoming an example of what they are asking for. Domineering leadership demands accountability from others while exempting itself. Peter closes that gap directly: the leader is not accountable for producing behavior in others that the leader has not first embodied.

This is uncomfortable because domineering is often mistaken for decisiveness or strength. A leader who controls tightly, who leaves no room for anything but compliance, can look like they are taking their responsibility seriously. Peter's word for what they are actually doing is domineering, and he sets against it a different picture entirely: someone whose authority is expressed through example rather than pressure.

Servant leadership holds itself to the standard it holds others to, not as a suggestion but as the actual mechanism of leading well. Accountability to those you lead includes accountability for whether you are asking people to become something you have not become yourself. A leader who leads by example has nothing to hide behind. A leader who leads by domination has nothing but the position itself.

Practical Application

• Name one standard you hold your team to and honestly assess whether you model it yourself.
• Identify whether your leadership style leans more toward pressure or example this week.
• Choose one interaction where you lead by showing rather than requiring.

Takeaways

• Peter draws a direct contrast between domineering and example; the leader is accountable for embodying what they ask of others, not just requiring it.
• A leader who leads by example has nothing to hide behind; a leader who leads by domination has nothing but the position itself.

Closing Thought

Accountability to those you lead includes accountability for whether you have become what you are asking them to become.